There’s always some pressure when you begin anything new, and I’ve definitely felt that for the longest time while attempting to start my very own blog. “But I’m not a writer.” “What am I going to say that hasn’t already been said?” “I know millions of people who can write and express themselves beautifully,what makes me think I can do the same?” “Remember how dumb you were in school?” “And you still are!” These questions and self-doubts circled endlessly. They just kept reminding me that I was a fraud, over and over again, convincing me that I didn’t fit into this world of eloquently put-together words. Then I realized-woah! I didn’t even want to be a writer. Writing blogs was never about that. So what’s this all about? Why was I so scared? Judgements? idk (?)
Writing a blog for me, wasn’t about crafting perfect sentences or being the next big author. It was simple. It was about having a space where I could share my thoughts, ideas, and expressions in my own words. I’ve come to understand that when you speak from the heart, you express yourself most clearly. That’s how communication works=real, authentic self-expression!! So yea, the reason I wanted to have my own blog was to give my thoughts a place to live outside of my mind, and hopefully, resonate with others along the way.
Looking back, I can see why it was so hard to start. All that hesitation was just me comparing myself to others. Ha, classic human behavior! It’s like how people compare themselves on social media platforms like Instagram or even in real life. Personally, I’ve intentionally limited my time on Instagram from the very start. My niche mainly revolves around scenic spots or random photography attempts. I do try to make my feed look aesthetic sometimes, but sometimes I forget to do that, so I haven’t really found myself comparing my appearance to the stereotypical “pretty girls,” their physiques, fashion, or success. Maybe it’s because my content and explore feed reflect my own interests (?) I am not too sure about that.
However, I’m still very aware of the pressure that exists. I faced it with my blog, right here in this space. And I think we can all relate to scrolling through perfectly curated feeds, if not of pretty girls then maybe some idealized version of success or maybe just some aspirational lifestyle, thinking that somehow everyone else is doing better, or is more talented, prettier, or more loved. It’s not just about beauty- it’s the constant comparing ourselves against an image of perfection or success that may not even exist in real life, what’s even worse is the unrealistic standard we set for ourselves based on what we see. This can feel overwhelming and frustrating for sure.
There is a psychological phenomenon called social comparison theory, have you heard of that? I recently did a quick research on this. (I like doing random research sometimes) Anyway, It says that humans tend to naturally evaluate themselves against others to measure their own abilities and self-worth. It’s very natural! In fact, some studies have shown that comparing ourselves with others activates the same reward centers in the brain as receiving a compliment- isn’t that wild? That’s exactly why it can be so addictive, that’s why people often get caught in a repeated cycle of comparing themselves to others. Imagine constantly comparing ourselves to a filtered version of someone else’s reality? – crazy! but it’s real and I am a victim of that too. 🙂
I also read one study that said users who tailor their social media experience to their personal passions or hobbies are less likely to feel the negative effects of comparisons. Their feeds align with their own unique goals instead. This made sense to me: maybe that’s why instagram hasn’t been a negative space for me, I don’t sit there comparing myself but I definitely have done so in real life, so the same principle applies to real life too. One thing is for sure: when we focus on our own passions and personal goals, we’re less concerned with comparing ourselves to others and more in tune with achieving our own goals. It really makes sense, so I am using this approach for my blog now.
I guess I’ve always admired people who are great writers and can express themselves beautifully, so I started comparing myself to them. After more than a decade of falling into the “comparison trap”, I’m finally taking the step to let that shit go. My voice doesn’t need to be louder or better, it just needs to be mine, and I really really need to embrace that fully. It’s not about how my blog or how my writing stacks up against others, its not about it being PERFECT because there’s no such thing as perfect. (cliché) but true.
There’s something so liberating about letting go of perfection and just enjoying the process. It’s like saying “Hey, it’s okay to be messy,” “It’s okay to struggle with the right words” “It’s okay to be unsure” “It’s okay to not know.””It’s okay to not have all the answers” Once you put yourself out there, it gets easier.
Life is about the steps you take every day. It’s about progress, not perfection. (cliché again) and DISCLAIMER: expect to see some cliches pop up in my future blog too. Honestly, it’s just part of the whole “nothing is perfect, embrace yourself, start now! just hit publish!!” phase I am in right now, and I am just leaning towards that!
So, this is my first step. Every step and every entry from now on—no matter how late or inconsistent—will be a step forward. loool
There’s always a first for everything—here’s a sketch from my first attempt at Inktober last year. Prompt-DAY 2- Spiders!
Millennial's Diary 
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